Title: The Tale of Despereaux
MPAA: G
Runtime: 100 minutes
Director: Sam Fell, Robert Stevenhagen

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Despereaux is a classic story about ... about ... actually, I have no idea what this story was about. Despite its "classic" feel, despite the way it presented itself as something familiar, there was not a whole lot of core here.

Not that it was a bad movie. The animation was great. The voice acting was well-placed. The story was ... well, it was there.

Perhaps a simple plot summary would help: the kingdom of Dor loves soup, rain, and light (I think). But when a rat-based accident ruins the annual soup festival - and ruins it in a way that isn't entirely appropriate for a small children's movie - soup is outlawed, and rats are outlawed, and somehow this leads to the cessation of both light and rain. Throw in a superfluous dose of Slave Girl Who Wants to be Princess and Who Also Has a Father She Never Knew But Will Know by the End of the Movie, and you have something of the plot.

I think the point of Despereaux was that people make mistakes, people get hurt, and people act in hurtful ways because of their own hurt, but forgiveness is more powerful than any of that. Also, if you don't eat soup, then it will never rain again, and you will never see the sun for as long as you live.

Now, looking back on those last two paragraphs, you must be asking yourself: what the hell does this have to do with all those previews I saw, the ones with the extra-large-eared mouse who has no fear of anything? Exactly. Somehow or other, Despereaux, the big-eared mouse with loads of courage, is the spaghetti noodle that holds the whole plot together. And that's just great, until you realize that you don't really need Despereaux to hold the plot together at all, because the storyline is convoluted enough and already too top-heavy with characters (the king, the princess, the chef, the chef's completely unexplainable Vegetable Demon who helps him with the cooking, the servant girl, the servant girl's father, the rat who doesn't act like a rat, the Rat King).

But why not? Throw in a mouse, who is not a rat, but who is also not a mouse in his heart, and yet still is not a man either. He'll hold the whole story together.

The geography is similarly confused, I might add. With names like "Despereaux", "Antoinette", and "Andre" being tossed around like, I don't know, something that gets tossed around a lot, you'd think we were basically in France. But you would be wrong, and that's why I'm writing this review, and you are not. No, we are not in France, or anyplace else that might be considered predominately French, because we also have a "Roscuro", a "Boldo", a "Pietro", and the aforementioned Veggie Demon, who insists on using unmistakably Italian phrases. Aha! But that's not all! We also have the servant girl and her father, the jailer, who call themselves "Miggery" and "Gregory", and who speak in what is immediately identifiable as honest-to-god Bowe-bell Cockney.

What gives, Movie? Where are we? What story is this? Why do we have a mouse with a French name who invites (loose) comparison to Don Quixote, a princess who calls herself Princess Pea, a chef called Andre whose obsession with the perfect soup would have in itself been enough for a good plot-line, but whose connection with rats and mice nearly cries out for negative comparison with Ratatouille?

At least the animation was good. And while the plots and subplots and sub-subplots seem to be more numerous than the rats and mice that support them, and while the whole thing holds together like a Jenga tower at the end of the game, your kids probably won't notice this. They'll watch the action, they'll cheer for the big-eared Despereaux, they'll hate the Rat King (or whatever the hell his official title is - probably something equally incongruous, like Grand Dragon Rat), they'll love the princess, and so on and so on.

I have also heard that the book was, as is so often the case, better than the film, and much more coherent. I plan on picking up a copy immediately. We'll see if the written version has any extra substance that might have helped the movie make more sense.

So it was an "ok" movie. My kids liked it (especially when Despereaux used his big ears to fly, not that you should in any way think of Dumbo when this happens). It was generally familiar, and for that reason, comfortable. Hey, it beats The Day the Earth Never Was in Any Actual Danger of Standing Still.

+++++++++++

This review was made possible in part by the generosity of Celebration Cinemas in Grand Rapids, MI. Feel like taking in a movie tonight? Celebration has a broad selection of films, stadium-style seating, a clean environment, and best of all, they never show commercials after the advertised showtime. Visit Celebration Cinemas online.