The year was 1982. The man with the guitar and rugged good looks was called "John Cougar" (later to be known as John Edmond Orlando "Blue Blood" Fitzgerald Ellseworth Cougar Button Mellencamp). The song was "Jack and Diane", and the lyric in question went like this:

Suckin' on chili dogs
Outside the Tastee Freeze
Diane's sittin' on Jackie's lap
He's got his hands between her knees

Now, I may admit that I'm just a little bit on the boundary's edge of "normal", so perhaps I have missed something critical, but ... do most people suck on their chili dogs? Isn't the more common method of Chili Dog Consumption better described as mowin' down, chewin' up, or even poundin' through? Or perhaps Jack and Diane were participating in the new Tastee Freeze pilot program for Chili Dog Shakes?

I suppose it could be the case that both Jack and Diane had horrendous dental hygiene, and lacked the recommended amount of teeth required to chew up some chili dogs. Maybe suckin' on those sloppy dogs was all they could do. Even so, I submit that suckin' is still the wrong verb. Even if J&D truly were in a "toothless situation", I think I would have opted for gummin' on chili dogs, mashin' up chili dogs, or slurpin' on chili dogs.

Clearly, I am going to need to spend more time thinking about this, and possibly even researching it further.